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Posted On 01-24-2011 7:45 PM
Your Name: Janet Hope
Email Address:
Location: Canberra, Australia
How did you find our site?: via a web parenting forum
Comment: Just wanted to say thank you for the site. It's full of useful and interesting material that is helping me get back on track with my chosen approach to parenting, i.e. trying to be as respectful as possible towards my child, despite new challenges arising from within and outside myself at each developmental stage.

Posted On 01-22-2011 8:19 AM
Your Name: Charla Harrison
Email Address:
How did you find our site?: web search
Comment: I love your books!  I work for a faith-based K-8 school that has a preschool and a daycare associated with it.  I work for the daycare with children ranging from 2-5 years.  The women in the daycare are strict task-masters who are big fans of Canter's Assertive Discipline. Since none of these women went to college, I'm assuming these women are modeling their own teaching styles on the type they remember their own teachers used in high school.   Faith-based schools are known to have really controlling teachers who like their students to be obedient.   They really like the, "I'm the boss and your not" method of controlling their classrooms.  My coworkers are like that.  They'll tell the toddlers, "No", "Stop!", and "You're going to Time Out!" and that's all they say all day.  It's terribly depressing.  Thank you for providing the teaching community with such wonderful resourceful material.  Perhaps someday I will land a job in a school, daycare, or preschool that will appreciate my "positive guidance" teaching style.

Posted On 01-20-2011 10:57 AM
Your Name: Lynne Weiss
Email Address:
Organization: myself
Location: greater Boston
How did you find our site?: interested in Kohn's perspective
Comment: I took a look at your site because I wondered if you had posted a comment on the Tiger Mother book (I believe the author is Amy Chua) after I noticed that she was going to be doing an event at Harvard Bookstore. But I enjoyed your essay on Political Correctness. I agree. It is a way of belittling legitimate concerns without grappling with the issues raised.

Posted On 01-18-2011 1:09 PM
Your Name: Adrian
Location: Ohio
How did you find our site?: Classroom management research assignment for college

Having only a year left in college before I get my education degree, I really want to be able to work in a very progressive school, both for my own benefit to become a better teacher, and also so I could possibly pass what I learned on into other schools if I work in them later. I was hoping you might put on your website a list of the top 20 or so progressive schools that you have come across, as this might give me a starting ground of where I could apply. Doing something like this could also help other people because they might be able to go and observe at those schools to bring back ideas to their own schools, or if they live nearby, might be able to transfer their children to those schools.

And this article just came up on Yahoo News on the lack of learning that is happening in colleges-

They mention wanting to give the students more homework as a solution. What a joke.

Posted On 01-14-2011 11:19 PM
Your Name: Danielle
Comment: I just finished reading your book, Unconditional Parenting and I wanted to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I am grateful to have found and read your work as I did not know the "evils" of praise beforehand.  I did want to comment though on what you wrote regarding Christianity and God's love being conditional.  I have to say that this couldn't be farther from the truth.  Christians hold that God's love is an agape love, which is a pure love and the best example of unconditional love that I know. (Romans 5:8 and John 3:16 are just two of many scripture references that I could point you toward).

Posted On 01-11-2011 10:10 PM
Your Name: Steve Katz
Email Address:
Organization: Teach With Video
Location: Korea
Comment: Keep up the great work! We will change education for the better, one teacher at a time.

Posted On 01-06-2011 10:47 AM
Your Name: Marc Rudolph
Email Address:
Organization: College Graduate
Location: Brooklyn, NY
How did you find our site?: I googled Alfie Kohn
Comment: During my first year out of college (the 2009-2010 school year), I served as a full-time literacy tutor at an elementary school in Brooklyn. I was appalled when the 4th-grade teacher I worked with spent several months of the year (January to April) giving practice state tests and going over the answers. EVERY DAY for three months this is what the students had to do. And you can't blame the teacher, because these tests are the most important part of her evaluation. After the year was up, I decided to learn more about the history of educational practice. The first book I chose to read was Dr. Kohn's The Schools Our Children Deserve. It made me extremely happy to see him blast the testing and "standards" movement with arguments strongly based in research and psychological theory (I majored in Psychology myself).

I currently find myself looking for an entry into the field of education, ideally to work for an organization that aligns with Dr. Kohn's views. Are there any such organizations in New York city? My email is at the top, I would be deeply honored to receive recommendations from the management of this website.

Posted On 01-06-2011 10:08 AM
Your Name: danny iskandar
Email Address:
Location: Fishers, IN
How did you find our site?: bought your book
Comment: I bought your unconditional parenting + DVD about 1 week ago and found it very useful. I started to show it to my friends. It is interesting that I come across you, from my spiritual path. I am a stay at home dad with 3 kids - 7, 5 and 3 years old. I used to struggle the idea of stay at home dad and other things in life until i found the answer in spirituality - which is to have an inner peace/happiness is to drop all my attachments (to things, to people, anything). This leads me to the practice of contemplative prayer or meditation. In short it has tremendous result that has helped to become a more unconditional parents to my kids. We become conditional only when we have all the attachments in the world, or all the thoughts in our head is our master, in other words selfishness. The practice of meditation helps me to look at my thoughts as something that does not control me, and i become dis-attached from my own thoughts. This brings me in the present moment and less judgmental towards every situation. And that leads me to become a more unconditional parents and people in everyday lives. I am not just talking about thoughts, but also emotions especially the negatives ones, fear, anger, shy, sad, etc. Those emotions are the one that used to make me a very conditional parents. Now after practicing meditation for about 3 years, I have less and less negative emotions - in fact some of them are totally gone! or if i still have it, it is not so controlling as before. This again leads me to become a more unconditional parents. There are studies already done, that the practice of meditation (i think in Buddhist monks) lead to changes in brain structure in our head. The part of the brain that functions for compassion, love, kindness are more developed than those people who does not practice meditation. For the record I am a Catholic. Your book has been very helpul and I am sure for some people, but there is limitation. The biggest limitation is first of all the emotions. When the emotions already occurred inside us, there is little we could do except we begin to judge, condemn, get angry, etc. Of course we could always go to our room and hide from our kids when that happen, but this is just a temporary solution. Not to mention if we suppress our emotion, our kids might not see it but it has detrimental effect on us. The permanent solution is to 'let go' of that emotions once and for all. Meditation is one of the most effective way i know to do this. Now 'to let go' of that emotion could be a lifetime struggle or could be discussed on a separate book. Peace, Danny Iskandar

Posted On 12-13-2010 3:13 AM
Your Name: cuad s
Location: Bay Area, California
How did you find our site?: a natural sense of wonder and some direction from Google
Comment: y0, thanks for "who's cheating whom"--a good read.

I was just wondering to myself if cheating really hurt students. I'm in college now and all throughout my academic career I've been helping students "make the grade" here and there. Google led me here.

The line I really liked was this one: "Competition often erodes academic self-confidence (even for winners) – partly because students come to think of their competence as dependent on how many people they’ve beaten".

I have just began to notice that in myself. I went to high school with a bunch of rich kids who are now at universities. I'm at the local community college and I've been a straight A student--a winner as you've put it--but the grades feel empty because I'm not getting them against the guys and girls I went to school with.

Thanks again for the read.

Posted On 12-12-2010 10:06 PM
Your Name: Trish Konelsky
Email Address:
Organization: My family
Location: Calgary, Ab, Canada
How did you find our site?: After purchasing your book Unconditional Parenting
Comment: Dear Mr. Kohn, Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your book has changed my mind, my life and my family. I have been a parent for 4.5 years, and have bought countless books on parenting. Most of them were only partially read, because they struck me as insincere, or only added to my ‘stickers and praise’ mentality. Yours has been absolutely life changing. I am one of the parents who reads it and said 'Is it too late? I literally wept while reading the first four chapters of your book. While I have always been opposed to punishment, I failed to consider the deleterious effects of praise on my preschooler and toddler. And didn’t spend time understanding their viewpoint. My husband and I have done a 180 in the last few weeks (in fact, our 4.5 year old had a hard time at first, because I went 'cold turkey' before reading your advice that I might 'wean' her off the constant praise – we we’re of the ‘good drooling!’ variety). If your aim is to help us become better parents, you have two changed individuals here (plus several friends who've 'given in' to my daily face book updates that all parents MUST borrow/buy/ask me to buy them your book) Again, I thank you, my husband thanks you, and I'm sure, once they are old enough to know, my children will thank you too.


Posted On 12-05-2010 11:32 PM
Your Name: Ross
How did you find our site?: Video
Comment: Found your work after watching your interview in "Human Resources" by Scott Noble.

Posted On 11-30-2010 10:22 AM
Your Name: John P.W. Hudson
Email Address:
Organization: Education Consultant
Location: Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
How did you find our site?: Simon Fraser University guest lecture
Comment: In my 34th and 35th year of teaching, I was seconded to mainland China to show how Western teachers teach. I was given 30 children of mixed ability with which to demonstrate, and each day I had from one to a dozen people watching and taking notes, from student teachers to high - ranking education, civic and central government officials Their system is the paradigm of high stakes testing from very early grades, where not only are students ranked, but the teachers in turn and schools themselves are ranked, and children placed in classes by rank. Also, all student scores are posted on the school entry walls following exams. I was horrified. The damage to their population is significant, especially rising rates of suicide. Our class outperformed even the top class in that school, and achieved 100% graduation rate at the end of middle school (the national graduation rate in China is about 50%). (Skipping high-stakes testing was not an option for our class - I had to work within their system). The rest do not continue to high school. Thank you for your efforts to fight the good fight here at home! John PW Hudson

Posted On 11-18-2010 1:00 AM
Your Name: Susan Stegmuller
Email Address:
Organization: just a mom
Location: Tempe
How did you find our site?: Mr. Harank
Comment: I am a Mom to 4 boys, 9, 7, 5, 4. The middle 2 are autistic. I have been advocating against homework for a little more than a year now. My advocacy has created a large rift between my husband, his parents, the kid's teachers, administrators and myself. I have sent everyone articles you have written. Bought your Myth about homework book and asked several to at least read part of it. Basically everyone is in denial that the kids don't like homework and I am a lunatic. The homework battle is really hard. The hardest accusation to stomach is that I am against homework because I don't want to do it, put forth the effort. I am a female major airline pilot and a PTO President. I sign up for "extra" all day long. The "extra" it is taking to advocate against homework is overwhelming me and I think I can't do it anymore.

Posted On 11-12-2010 12:14 PM
Your Name: Jerome Keels
Email Address:
Organization: Fayetteville State University
Location: Fayetteville, NC
How did you find our site?: College assignment
Comment: I have been given an assignment to write about classroom management.  I am very intrigued with Mr. Kohns' writings.  I work in the education system and do not agree with the many theoretical approaches to classroom management, none seem to be effective!  I am very interested in Mr. Kohns work and plan to continue to read more.

Posted On 11-05-2010 6:19 AM
Your Name: Alain Jehlen
Email Address:
How did you find our site?: google
Comment: Every month, Scientific American magazine publishes short excerpts from its issues 50, 100, and 150 years ago. Last month, they published this excerpt from the October, 1860 issue:

"A child who has been boxed up six hours in school might spend the next four hours in study, but it is impossible to develop the child's intellect in this way. The laws of nature are inexorable. By dint of great and painful labor, the child may succeed in repeating a lot of words, like a parrot, but, with the power of its brain all exhausted, it is out of the question for it to really master and comprehend its lessons. The effect of the system is to enfeeble the intellect even more than the body. We never see a little girl staggering home under a load of books, or knitting her brow over them at eight o'clock in the evening, without wondering that our citizens do not arm themselves at once with carving knives, pokers, clubs, paying stones or any weapons at hand, and chase out the managers of our common schools, as they would wild beasts that were devouring their children."

Posted On 11-04-2010 7:53 PM
Your Name: Chris Stewart
Email Address:
Organization: Seattle Public Schools Parent
Location: Seattle, WA
How did you find our site?: Longtime Kohn reader

Teach for America is trying to get a foothold in Seattle.  We had multiple TFAers testify at the School Board meeting last night.  I am skeptical, being an opponent of standardized testing and corporate reform, but as I watched these young people last night - they are so young!  so cute! so peppy!  - the question came to my mind: What if...all poor and minority children need is a cheerleader?  Does it really work?  Does the benefit go beyond test scores?  Naturally, my next thought was what you, Mr. Intrinsic Motivation, thought about Teach for America.  So I'm Googling that combination, and I haven't found anything specific.  I'll keep looking but if you could send me a link, or respond with your thoughts, that would be great. 

Posted On 10-31-2010 5:38 PM
Your Name: Jake Eagle
Email Address:
Organization: Green Psychology
Location: Santa Fe, NM
How did you find our site?: Searched for Alfie Kohn
Comment: I'm a psychotherapist who owns several of your books, which I lend to clients—and not just clients who have children. I deeply appreciate your message, which I interpret as advocating a new, more evolved way to communicate.

I would like to share something that comes from Green Psychology—it's the concept of no praise and no blame. This is not new to you, but we have developed a way of speaking that deeply complements your work. We literally eliminate all praise and blame from our conversations. This is done, in part, by never telling people about them, but rather talking only about our own perceptions.

So, instead of saying, "you make me angry," we say, "I anger myself." No blame. Instead of saying, "you are a terrific teacher," we say, "I greatly appreciate the way you teach." No praise. We are always expressing our own subjective experience, never telling other people about them. . .

Posted On 10-24-2010 3:12 PM
Your Name: Conny Jensen
Email Address:
Organization: Greeley Parent Advocacy Group
Location: Greeley Colorado
How did you find our site?: Googling Alfie Kohn
Comment: I so much enjoyed watching the video of your 2006 presentation in Canada! (On your website under freebies) That presentation should be seen by everyone! I will be sharing the link with as many people as I can! In the mean time, anyone reading this: please join forces with Uniting 4 Kids on Facebook.

Posted On 10-22-2010 6:52 AM
Your Name: D. Coulter
How did you find our site?: Book jacket
Comment: I have just begun reading your book "The Homework Myth" and it made me sad that I didn't pursue the elimination of homework from my sons' elementary school days more adamantly.  When I requested that my son do the work while he waited the 30 minutes for the school bus after school, the teacher sent me to the principal who told me, "It's homework, It's to be done at HOME."  Furious with her response, I went to the superintendent who told me, "This isn't a battle you want to fight."  So I shut up and seethed as we battled the homework.  Saddest of all is that we were reading through the LIttle House on the Prairie books and the boys loved it!  BUT because of the sorry books they brought from school to read and the homework, we didn't get to finish.  I am a professional special education teacher and I HATE HOMEWORK!

Posted On 10-10-2010 5:29 PM
Your Name: M. Ryan
Location: California
How did you find our site?: looked online after reading the schools our children deserve
Comment: You are the voice of a very desperately needed change in education. I have been dissatisfied and searching for something but couldn't put my finger on where to start. Your writings have confirmed what I've believed about how students learn and our current educational practices. Unfortunately, education has become more political fodder than a way to help our children grow. I will be spreading the word to many disheartened teachers. THANKS

Posted On 10-10-2010 10:49 AM
Your Name: Catherine Steveley
Email Address:
Organization: Jones International University
Location: Charlotte, NC
How did you find our site?: JIU textbook
Comment: I LOVE AK's views!! I have incorporated many of them into my (single-)parenting without realizing it. My kids are great; more importantly, they are independent thinkers with inner rational for their cooperative and productive behavior. They are teens now, so now I will REALLY need AK's methods to continue to elicit great behavior! Now, I want to learn how to incorporate such behavior management strategies into my classrooms as a substitute teacher and as an ESL teacher. Thank you, AK!!! I will look for the day when you come to Charlotte!

Posted On 10-08-2010 2:46 PM
Your Name: Dr. Colleen Moran
Email Address:
Organization: North Montgomery Schools
Location: Crawfordsville, IN
How did you find our site?: 10.7.10 presentation in Indianapolis
Comment: After hearing Alfie present to IASCD yesterday with my administrative team, we decided that it is useless to continue online, standards-based testing through an initiative sponsored by IDOE. Even though the first window of testing begins next week, I called DOE today to let them know that we will not be participating. Thank you, Alfie, for helping us see things clearly. We'll use all of that time used for testing actually teaching our students. It's a start:)

Posted On 10-04-2010 6:54 AM
Your Name: Anne Mijke van Harten
Email Address:
Organization: Earth Games
Location: The Netherlands
How did you find our site?: read the books

Currently I am in Japan to give workshops on co-operative games: playing together instead of against each other. It is very interesting to see how the people of this society that is known for its competitiveness respond to playing co-operative games. Many people here feel society needs to change and are looking for ways HOW. I also mentioned your books. 

Gratitude for your work

Posted On 09-28-2010 2:34 PM
Your Name: Judi Byrnes
Email Address:
Organization: Education
Location: NSW Australia
How did you find our site?: google search
Comment: Great to see you website/page. Your book Punished by Rewards is something I use all the time with my work. Diane Gossen put me on to it. Any chance of getting it as an ebook/kindle in the future?

Posted On 09-25-2010 8:58 AM
Your Name: Arch
Location: Ohio
How did you find our site?: Class Research Project
Comment: Just wanted to say that I appreciate the work you do. I almost gave up on the idea of becoming an educator, because I can't stand how boring many schools make education for the students; but I found your work through a group project on classroom behavior management in one of my upper division classes, and it gave me renewed hope that trying to serve as one who truly tries to honor what learning should be about was still possible. If there isn't an online message board/forum for teachers with similar views to your own available so that we can flesh out these kind of ideas, and work out the kinks in our implementation of them to truly show the world what this can become, it might be a good idea for us to look into it. Or if there is one, if you put a link to it on your website, it could help people that much more.

Thanks again for the hard work you have done in gathering together the scientific studies and logic and getting the needed message out there.


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